THE VALUE OF COMMUNITY
By Sue Ronnenkamp

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I often tell people that I started my Living Transitions business because I firmly believe in the value of moving on to a place and setting that is more fitting for the later stages of life. One of the great benefits that often accompanies this transition is the opportunity to live and be involved in a community again. Yes, moving is hard but living alone in isolation is worse and this is what I typically see with many of my clients. They may have recently lost a spouse, their health may be failing, their family may not live close by or they have no family. Most of my clients are living in family-sized homes that are way too big for their current needs, many of their friends have moved or passed away, and some can't drive anymore. This can all be very depressing. So the norm for me is to see clients and other older adults I meet looking better and younger after the move, than they did before. Why? Because they are no longer alone and isolated. They have new friends, they are part of a new community and they have a reason to get out and get involved again.

As far as I'm concerned, we put way too much value on independence. It has its place but it is only one part of our life cycle. Interdependence and dependence also play a large role, though we too often forget this. I recently reread "Tuesdays With Morrie". For those of you not familiar with this true story, Morrie was a Brandeis University professor who, while dying from ALS (better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease), reconnected with a former student during the last months of his life. This was the last class for this professor and his former student. The subject was the Meaning of Life and the book that resulted from this interchange between teacher and student was the final paper. Morrie taught his former student and all of us through this book a lot about living through his dying. Morrie knew the value of interdependence and the place that dependence holds in our lives. Listen to what he had to say about this: "In the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive, right? And at the end of life, when you get like me, you need others to survive, right?.. But here's the secret: in between, we need others as well." How true this is!

My hope for our society is that we reclaim the value of interdependence and the benefits of community. In order to do so we will have to release some of our need for independence that often isolates and separates us from others. Yes, we may even need to let go of our long-time homes and move on, but living in a community and being involved in the lives of others can offer tremendous value to our lives. One of the special opportunities of the later stages of life is learning the importance of interdependence and dependence and acknowledging that having support and companionship and interaction with others is a good thing. It's never too late to let go of some of that fierce independence and to open to the benefits of community and being in the company of others.

Sue Ronnenkamp is a nationally recognized expert in the area of later life, transitional moves. She is the founder and owner of Living Transitions , an Austin, Texas-based business that provides "hands on" help to older adults making downsizing moves. Sue also provides educational programs and resources including her book, Living Transitions: A Step-by-Step Guide for Making a Later Life Move , a long list of articles, popular presentations that shed a positive light and perspective on this topic, and a Business Starter Kit for Senior Move Specialists. For more information, check out Sue's web site at www.livingtransitions.com or call Sue at 512/407-8488.