DOWNSIZING FROM THE FAMILY HOME
By Sue Ronnenkamp

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Are you at a point where you’re thinking of downsizing from your long time family home and moving on to the next phase of your life? If so, congratulations! Just be prepared for the physical downsizing process. Since this is by far the most daunting part of making a later life move, I will offer some tips and suggestions for starting the process of going through years of accumulated belongings. These tips and insights should help whether you’re the older adult ready to face this task, or whether you are the adult child who has offered to help your parents with their living transition. Let’s get started!

1. Begin in the areas of the house that you currently don’t use.
   Many older adults are still living in the same houses where they raised their families. In most situations, there are areas of the house that are currently not being used – upstairs bedrooms, the basement family room, etc. START the sorting and clearing process in these rooms because this will be least disruptive to everyday life. These areas also often contain lots of items that have not been used in a considerable length of time and that will not be missed when passed on to children, grandchildren, charity or the auction house.
   
   
2. Start with the large pieces and work your way down to the small items.
   The rationale for this? It’s easier to start with furniture and the bigger pieces and you’ll feel like you are making some progress. If you begin with the small items, you may get overwhelmed and frustrated before you even get started. With large items, either prepare a list of your decisions (e.g. dresser – keep, will work well in a smaller bedroom), or use stickers and mark the items as you decide what to do with each piece. This way you will also start thinking about what you’re ready to release from your life. This will prompt a discussion with your family about what they may want of your belongings – a good thing for them to start thinking about.
   
   
3. FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS!
   For many people, starting the sorting and decision-making process is as difficult as walking out to a yard piled with leaves in the fall and deciding where to begin raking. The task appears to be so overwhelming! All you can do in this situation is to START somewhere and approach this work step by step, pile by pile until the job is finished.
   
   I stress keeping focused as much as possible because it’s so easy to do a little bit here, a little bit there and never feel like you’re getting anywhere. I see this happen with my clients all the time. I leave them with a list of things to do and return after a week and though they tell me they have been very busy, I can’t see that anything has been done. And neither can they. Start working in a specific room in your house or even a specific area of this room (say a closet or a drawer). Stick with what you are working on until it is finished. You’ll feel better because you will be able to see what you have accomplished. This will give you momentum to continue the sorting and downsizing process.
   
   
4. Sort the items in each room as follows:
   • Items that you want to keep as you move forward into the later stages of your life (these include items you are currently not ready to part with, or items that you know will be used and will serve a functional role in your new home).
   • Items that you would like to pass on to family and friends.
   • Items that could be sold via a garage sale, estate sale or auction.
   • Items that you want to donate.
   • Items that need to be thrown away.
     
     Again, keep a list of your decisions, separate the items into separate piles, or mark the items with stickers.
     
     
5. Get rid of as much stuff as possible along the way.
   What does this mean? This means putting items to be thrown away into garbage bags and setting out this trash for pickup each week. This means calling your charity of choice and arranging for a pickup as soon as you have enough items to justify their making a trip to your house. This means asking family and friends to make arrangements to get their items, or to have their belongings mailed or shipped to them.
   
   I always tell people that one of the easiest places to start with clearing a house is announcing to their family that it’s time for them to come get their stuff. I had things at my mom and dad’s house from my childhood and school days that I insisted my mother keep for me. I made a trip to their house two years before they made their downsizing move in 1996 to collect my belongings from my old upstairs bedroom and closet. Guess what happened? Most of these items didn’t last even six months once they were taking up storage space in my house! So don’t feel guilty if you take this step. It’s time!
   
   
6. Allow plenty of flexibility and time, and trust the process.
   Plan to spend maybe one or two hours at a time (at most) working through the sorting process. This is NOT a task that you can do for long periods at any age – there will be too many emotions and memories stirred up because in essence you are sorting through the years of your life. Take time for recalling memories, shed tears as you need to, and share stories with family and friends. Also, be easy on yourself and flexible when making decisions.
   
   This is a very important and valuable part of the later life transition process. Allow yourself time to remember and grieve losses. Don’t rush yourself to make too many decisions at once. It you need to talk to your family about what to do with certain items or belongings, take time to do this. If you can’t make a decision about something, set it aside and think about it awhile until you do come to a decision. Also remember that you can change your mind about any item as long as it’s still in your possession. If you have started early and are planning ahead, you should be able to work at a pace that is comfortable for you and your situation.
   
   REMEMBER, your goal is to simplify your life. I always tell my clients that they don’t need to get rid of everything but they do need to pare down their years of accumulated belongings. Focus on keeping the key things, the favorite things that you want to have around you and that you really need and enjoy. And try to think of downsizing your belongings as a natural process of completing and releasing – like leaves falling from the trees in autumn. YOU CAN DO THIS and believe me, you will feel so good when this job is done and you have new, clutter-free space in your home and in your life.

Sue Ronnenkamp is a nationally recognized expert in the area of later life, transitional moves. She is the founder and owner of Living Transitions , an Austin, Texas-based business that provides "hands on" help to older adults making downsizing moves. Sue also provides educational programs and resources including her book, Living Transitions: A Step-by-Step Guide for Making a Later Life Move , a long list of articles, popular presentations that shed a positive light and perspective on this topic, and a Business Starter Kit for Senior Move Specialists. For more information, check out Sue's web site at www.livingtransitions.com or call Sue at 512/407-8488.